they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
