so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
