My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
