Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
