PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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