Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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