I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I wear drunk well.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
