dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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