Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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