respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
