My nipple is on Facebook.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
