if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
