Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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