i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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