if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
