if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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