Screwed.edu
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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