there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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