Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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