I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
