He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We are all done wearing pants today
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
