Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
handjob tips. give me some.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
