well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
