Having a random hookup so left but love u
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
