just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
