we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
