im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
