get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
