Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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