Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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