You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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