So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
