Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
