week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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