Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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