yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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