Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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