At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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