Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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