I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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