he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
