i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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