It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
home. puking in laundry basket.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
