Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
