I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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