the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
