at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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