Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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