so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
