Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
try to milk me bitch
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
