I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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