When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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