once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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